Once I positively introduced silence into my everyday living, it was a relief peeling away the layers and pressures created by the outside world. Stepping through the door of my home and pressing mute shut out all of the things I should be doing and the unreasonable expectations of others, we often take too seriously.
Instead, with the silence offered by living alone, I enter a space where my authentic self can step forward where I am no longer blurred by white noise. I tap into what feels good for me and what’s more, I am allowed to dream big without interjections or interference.
It’s self-investigation zooming in – to what brings me joy, laughter, inspiration and curiosity. Through the luxury of silence, I have found answers and clarity on issues and dilemmas most important to me – from day-to-day ponderings to pressures preying heavily on my mind. I feel compelled to get down to business and act in response to newfound ideas and inspirations evolving from self-investigation and personal quizzings.
It’s proving to be an exhilarating and never-ending process, allowing me to blossom and happily follow my own path. Sure, there were (and still are), occasional echoes in my mind, but I find it keeps getting easier to exclude external distractions when you’re alone.
Sounds amazing right? Well, don’t get too excited just yet. There is a flip side that’s not so pleasant. I guess it is the reason why some shy away from and would avoid living alone. I’m referring to periods of uncertainty, sadness, anxiety or any state of emotional unease.
During difficult times, living alone – or specifically, coping with silence, may not feel like comfort. Far from it, it’s more likely to feel like a sense of sadness because of being alone. Temporary relief in the form of work, keeping busy or being surrounded by people can be an easy escape from the discomfort felt inside.
But what if I told you silence can be just as valuable while experiencing emotional turbulence?
To demonstrate, let’s have a look at when two people get acquainted and go on to form a meaningful bond. The most meaningful bonds are built on sharing both pleasurable and challenging times. If one party is in pain, the other person’s reaction and contribution, if satisfactory, can deepen their connection. Once the hard and fast winds have calmed down, the result may be an enhancement in trust, appreciation, loyalty and ultimately, in the growth of love. If not, it would suggest the relationship is in need of repair.
Interestingly enough, this kind of development within relationships has a strong resemblance with the process I have with myself during tough moments. Through the luxury of silence and having the flexibility in life to lower the outside “noise” during stressful times, is for me, the equivalent of turning to another in times of need.
Aside from the clarity of mind silence brings, it also provides an opportunity to strengthen your inner core. Resulting in very similar and positive outcomes – trust, appreciation, love and loyalty manifest in ways parallelling the kind of support you would receive from others.
Once the hardship of complicated feelings has passed, you find you have created those positive feelings from within and most importantly, for and by yourself. You create your very own strong and stable core – an internal framework you come to understand. I can tell you now, there is no sadness to be found there. This is why times of silence can enhance your life while living alone.
By no means do I suggest underestimating the importance of having supportive social networks with family and friends close by. But while they have their place, what I am saying is in my experience, silence deserves more credit! With our noisy lives, silence is a joy to behold, worthy of our appreciation and a luxury afforded by the experience of living alone. They are times I have learned to cherish.