Have you wondered if living alone might be for you? Here are ten reasons why living alone can be good for you.
For the uninitiated, it can take some getting used to, but living alone can be one of the most liberating experiences life has to offer. From developing a stronger sense of independence to living a life completely on your own terms, solo life has something to offer everyone. If you’re living alone for the first time or seasoned in living solo and in need of a confidence boost, or even if you’re living alone, loving it and like to be reminded (well, why not?!), here are 10 reasons why living alone can be good for you.
10 Reasons Why Living Alone Can Be Good For You!
1 You can please yourself!
Often, what’s described here is listed separately, but we have banded them together as one. Things like having control of the remote, walking around naked, eating cereal whenever you want and doing the hoovering at 10 pm – all fall under this broad category of the solo living experience.
Of course, this isn’t an exclusive list, but you get the gist, which is – you can pretty much please yourself. There is nothing wrong in doing so and underestimating the joy to be gained from simple pleasures is a no, no!
With the ability to please yourself comes the opportunity to prioritise your own self-care. It is often the case that many people who live solo feel a little guilty about being able to do so, at a time when often someone’s self-worth is dictated by how many plates they’re spinning and, indeed, their lack of time.
It’s easy to see why those of us with the power to do what we want when we want (to a degree) don’t shout about the fact we can put ourselves at the top of the list. We’re here to remind you, self-care is not selfish, and together, hopefully, we can shift the perspective that being able to use time as you wish is positive and not something that you should hide away.
2 You are in control
Broadly similar to the first point, we’re talking here about more profound things rather than choosing whether or not you eat pasta in your pants or drink milk from the carton. Being in control when living alone means you get to make all the big decisions that directly affect your destiny.
When it comes to what you do, who you socialise with and when you choose to do the things you are passionate about – all of this, and more, is under your control, for you to make decisions upon without judgement, compromise, or justification.
There is a view living alone means you’re automatically missing out on something – a connection with another person or being able to share difficult decisions with someone else. We’ve explored this in a previous article asking whether or not a single life is a phase or a lifestyle choice for you.
This does not necessarily mean that those who chose to live with another person are in any less control than us solo livers. Still, there is something rather empowering about making decisions about your lifestyle and choosing the direction you want your life to go in without too much influence from others.
3 Embrace life with your whole mind
Sometimes, discussing the benefits of solo living can be lighthearted – the reason for the list of small joys mentioned in point 1 of our list. But, those of us living alone by choice or who have grown to enjoy living alone are likely to recognise this reason more readily. Thinking, feeling, and truly living alone is much more about embracing this life and being fully immersed in it, allowing you to be completely present in your mind and body.
Living alone gives you the opportunity to explore your true self and develop a sense of being comfortable in your own skin. This might be the simple act of being comfortable in your own company. Or being able to spot what triggers negative feelings and (most importantly) what you can do to counteract them. Knowing who we really are, being content with that person, and having confidence in our own values and boundaries ultimately improve our wellbeing, but also the way we also present ourselves to people around us.
4 Home is where the heart is
When it comes to living alone, you can really grow to appreciate your living space – your home and, thus, your personal space. With busy lives, it can be hard to appreciate our surroundings. Living alone and working towards it successfully can help you become more attuned to your space. You’re able to mould it precisely the way you imagine. Even if your home is a work in progress right now, it is your own, and you are totally in charge of it.
If you’re sitting reading this thinking you’ve already decorated recently, you might find some more inspiration for keeping busy around the house in our ‘Home is where the heart is’ article.
Working from home has started to become more popular. This can be great as it reduces commuting time, and for many people, the lack of office distractions increases their productivity.
However, there is a downside for every upside, and working from home can make the boundaries of work/life balance blurry. This can be more of an issue for solos working from home because without another person wanting their attention, they might easily work past their usual hours.
When the office is your sofa, it can become challenging to know when it’s time to switch on and off from work mode. If you don’t have a home office, some minor changes can go a long way to making it feel less like you’re working and living from the same spot every day. Try the simple trick of creating an area of your home set up purely to work from, a defined space where you work and where the rest of your home is for you to relax and switch off from the laptop.
5 Find fulfilment while living alone
Fulfilment comes from working hard towards something you need. For some people, living alone is what they need, and so when it happens, they feel at peace with their situation and themselves. This doesn’t mean it comes easily or naturally to people to start with.
Some people regard living on your own as somehow less of a lifestyle choice than living with someone else. You could be in a miserable and unfulfilling relationship…but at least you’re not alone, eh?
The steps to be comfortable living solo can take time for those who need time to quieten the critical voices about being happy, safe or lonely if you choose to live by yourself. Often, the conversations around finding empowerment through living alone come from the female perspective.
Perhaps because women are seen as more vulnerable than men, there is an added layer of risk attached to living alone. This doesn’t mean that men don’t go through the same experiences finding fulfilment living alone. Solo Living writer Michelle Newbold explored the experience of men in her article ‘Do men find it harder to live alone?’
6 Share your home on your terms
Living alone doesn’t mean always being alone, and so it stands to reason that you will want to share your home with friends and loved ones but on your terms. Hand-picking guests and inviting people when you choose are all freedoms you can control at your own pace. Be sure, though, not to leave yourself with an open-door policy (unless that’s what you want).
For our coupled-up friends and family members, they can easily be mistaken, thinking that anyone living on their own is happy for any company at any time. This can lead to people assuming it’s okay to just turn up unannounced because why wouldn’t you want the company? This isn’t necessarily something that people do on purpose, but be sure to nip it in the bud if you notice it happening; otherwise, it will get more difficult to address.
7 Financial independence
Not everyone will take this one fully on board! Basically, it means that you are financially free as well as in control. What you bring home is yours, with no need to share or distribute anywhere else other than your own choosing. Financial independence is something many people crave, and yet with living alone, it is kind of a given, which is a reason to be thankful – honest!
Admittedly, living on your own doesn’t always come with the same perks that couples are given; Ciara Mcardle found this when looking at the question: is the cost of living higher when you live alone? It could be said the decision to live alone is not one driven by money. However, being completely in control of how your hard-earned cash is spent with no arguments about how much to turn the heating up or who left the light on in the bathroom again is definitely inviting.
8 Active independence
You’d be forgiven for thinking we’ve already touched on this but actually, what we mean here isn’t about doing things on your own. Living alone gives you that freedom, of course, but it also brings with it the ability to be actively independent. Anyone can be independent (even when living as a couple), but living alone brings with it authentic independence and self-discipline like nothing else.
These elements go some way to helping find your authentic self. Discovering the version of you that you are most happy and comfortable with is a journey like no other. Regardless of how you choose to live your life, coming out the other side will bring with it a greater level of contentment and independence. Once you’ve found what you need to be happy with yourself, it will naturally open you up for more meaningful connections with other people.
9 Pursue what you are passionate about
When living with other people, there tends to be ‘stuff’ that gets in the way. Living alone not only gives you an unparalleled level of freedom, but it also gives you the time to focus on what you really want to do.
What’s great about living alone is that it gives you confidence that you can do it. It starts small – hanging your first picture without help or getting through a month with a few pounds left in the bank but knowing you covered everything you needed. Then, it begins to grow. You become braver. The voice in your head starts to change from “You can’t do that to I bet you could do that.”
This development of self-confidence doesn’t mean you master passions any faster or better than anyone else. What it does mean, though, is you feel more confident about taking the first step, braving the uncertainty and being okay with some vulnerability. Micky explored this in more depth when writing about her first solo travel experience in her piece, ‘Travelling Solo Isn’t Lonely’.
10 Great social life
Living alone doesn’t mean being a recluse. Many solos report having a better social life and a great network to draw upon because of living solo, not despite living alone. Having a fulfilling social life doesn’t always depend on the amount of friendship you have, but on the quality of the time spent with friends.
Many of the points we’ve already covered set out why living alone can be good and feed into explaining why solos may have a better social life. If you’re content and happy in who you are as a person and can be alone, then seeing friends isn’t about filling in some time. It’s about spending meaningful time with people you care about and who care about you. As a result, you’ll be more present and engaged in what you do with your friends, from actively listening to really enjoying the moment.
As well as thoroughly enjoying a social life, exploring your passions or taking on new hobbies opens up new possibilities to your social life. Being in charge of your own time and how you spend it means you can sign up for classes or groups that allow you to spend time doing something you love and meet like-minded people at the same time.
Troy
Thankyou for this . Really needed it.☺️
Hailey
Thank you for this. I am moving out on my own for the first time and this really helped.
Andrew
Thanks I’m moving out on my own for first time and a bit nervous but I have a bit more piece of mind thank you.
Maria
Reading this in lightens on a few facts which I did not really consider .when you live on your own being a pensioner you think more of your pass and get depressed to which you can’t help .I do have family but they to have family it’s there life and I respect that they come first I had my life I would not want them to think they have me to consider .
Getting back to this being alone is good in some ways but I also think you can become selfish in not sharing life the quietness become solitude and when your in a group of people it’s deftneing .
On the whole. The advantages is come and go when you like and only answer to your self .my thoughts .
Twin
Thank you I just got my own place, I wasn’t sure why I was pushed to living alone but I understand it now.
Arturo Puente
If you live in a shared space with roommates, you are not living alone. Living alone means your own private bathroom/ private kitchen/ private refrigerator. Don’t make the mistake I made. Roommates will run and sometimes administer your life whether you like it or not. Have your own key kitchen, bathroom and room. Personal lifestyle. 1.
Mino
My roommate is my business partner and best friend and I really look forward to living alone again… Every time he isn’t home for a while or even some hours, I feel how better off I am if left alone with myself. I am more productive, less stressed, have more fun doing creative work and am just not interrupted or dependent on anybody else’s behaviour. It’s just amazing.
Living with a friend is not like living with a significant other or a complete stranger. I am a person who loves his personal space and a friend won’t respect that as much as a stranger. Sometimes I feel like owning a pet that needs my attention but without the option of petting it… So keep in mind: If you have the choice of living alone, do it!
P.S.: I personally am an introvert at home and an extrovert under people and have much more meetups with other friends or even dates with women if he is not here. (Probably cause my social battery is not used up at home already)
ian
I live alone can’t beat it do what you want when you want couldn’t be happier
Damian
I’m 35 and living alone. I haven’t been in a relationship since my 20s. I enjoy being alone and it is by choice!
Helen Wynn
Thanks for the article. Boy, I sure do want to live alone! I am retired, my husband of 37 years died (terribly painful and sad) and my brother came to live with us after his divorce. I have been his caretaker. I am tired of it. I want my own life and discover who I am after a wonderful marriage. My Siberian and I would be very, very happy to build a wonderful life together!!
Jenny
I agree with everyone who commented here.
It’s better to stay alone as I am married and having lots of problem with my husband as he is cheating and chatting with women on social media and etc.
We fight everyday and not listening and those bitches online instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tiktok and etc making all men crazy and their breaking their marriage.
I think living alone is much better solution and I agree with everyone here.
S
Living alone is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
I moved into my own flat at 44yrs old after a lifetime of living with others.
It’s like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders- I wake up grateful every day that I have control over everything as soon as I shut the door.
It’s beautiful- I don’t want to live with anyone ever again.
Kirsty
Great tips thank you! This has confirmed everything I hoped living alone would be 🙂
Narender
I need 2 live alone
Donna Egles
I have been caregiver to my parents for four years.
They are going to assisted living and im petrified of being here alone.
I felt purposeful and needed and now I am beyond frightened.
A
I am looking forward to getting my own place next year. It will be my first time living alone and I can’t wait. I have been single for five years and I’m happy that way. I have been living with my Dad while saving for a house deposit. I’m grateful that I have been able to do this, and we do have a good relationship, but I feel that I don’t and have full control of my own life and won’t until I live in my own home. I feel like I have a curfew sometimes as he will always make a comment if I’m home later than I said I would be. And I am looking forward to eating more of what I want for dinner, rather than trying to find things we both like which can be hard!
Mike
Being single and all alone all the time can be very unhealthy and depressing, especially when you know so many others that are all settled down with their loved ones. Not really fun at all for many of us single guys, unless if you’re one of many others that really like to be.
Ashok Kumar Choudhary
Just move to a state living with my family for 22 year’s and I am? 22 so I grew up with my family and did everything from my home now I got admission to a different state so I had to move alone just stay in a hotel searing the right apartment …….. ..this article helped I was worried and kind of overwhelmed ….kind of had tears… But I got this… Huuufff fuuu ha yeh I got this
Alex
Living alone is not all about having fun and enjoying yourself. You must also be financially savvy to truly enjoy all the benefits. Living alone 25years now.
Jason Marchi
I LOVE living alone and I love never having made the serious mistake of marrying. Over half of my friends and relatives are divorced. Of those who remained married, eighty to ninety percent fight and have the attitude, “All couples fight.” Not me, I’m too smart for that, thankfully! There is nothing WORSE they being married. Living alone is makes me happy, extremely productive, and always relaxed.
Judy
Living alone is the best!
Neville Cameron
My daughter is 46 years old and is very happy living on her own.
You don’t have to answer to anyone, you make your own choices on everything.
no questions, no advice, often needed but still OK.
Neville Cameron
Years ago I moved to London, during a huge media drive from the government.
It was called “Clubbing the unclubbable” I found this very patronising and unpleasant.
Patrick Boucher
Lived alone in US. Loved it. Got married to a wonderful woman who happened to be German. Moved to Germany. Lived together for 20+ years, currently separated, living alone again. Really enjoy every second as it is my second, hour, day to use. Buy a bike as this helps with staying in shape, getting outside, shopping while reducing carbon emissions. Yes, an ebike is my choice and while charging does create greenhouse gasses they are far less than a car. + insurance is much less, no gas, etc. Peace to all!
Aleaya
I love living alone… It is pure freedom to come and go and do as you please whenever you want. I am not lonely at all, if i want to be around people I can easily make that decision as well!!!!! I have 4 cats and a dog, My home is not soulless, I bring life to my home and so do they. I am mentioning this as some homes i have gone to do have that very cold, soulless feeling, maybe even a sadness. We ourselves that love this life style make it what we want it to be. 😉
Cheryl
I ended up living alone after getting out of a bad relationship. I had previously been married from age 18 until my wonderful husband passed away when we were 51. Then I unfortunately got into a relationship 3 years later (which I shouldn’t have but longing for companionship and thinking I would be happier not being alone) He turned out to be a violent alcoholic and although it was good in the first couple of years my life turned into a living hell of constant turmoil. I was praying to for God to remove me and longed to live on my own.
Well it finally happened when he injured me and went to jail. Finally I was free. And I tell you living alone on my own I am finally at peace. I love it and don’t desire my life to ever be any different. The joy of being independent and in control of my own finances and home space is truly the best.
Mel
Thank you so much for this article. Deeply thoughtful. I needed this.
Monica
i don’t mind living alone. Day time is ok for me. Night time is a bit scary for me. i don’t like darkness. Can someone teach me to like Night time.
Kim
Female, Age 64. I have been blissfully living alone for 22 years. The freedom to pursue hobbies (solo and group hobbies) of my choosing, to spend time with a variety of good friends, while having my cozy home all to myself has truly been the best experience of my life.
I’m much healthier emotionally, physically and spiritually because of my choice to divorce and live solo.
I have more friends now, from wonderfully diverse backgrounds, than I ever had in the 18 year unhappy marriage I endured. Solo living can be the best choice for some (many?) of us. I have several married couple friends as well as single friends. They’re all special and hand picked by me. Life is good.
Ieon
Im eventually am going to be alone after 35 years of marriage, my wife has terminal cancer, we done everything together, made our home, im 63 and now retired to look after her, when we should have used our retirement to enjoy the rest of our lives together but no its not to be.
So when my beautiful wife has passed, im not looking forward to loneliness but i have my daughter and friends to rely on, hope it will get easier!
John
What would you suggest for someone who would like to live alone, but has children and a woman that will fall apart if you leave? I would love to live alone, but I can’t seem to, even as much as I want to. I know it’s healthier for me. But I feel I am stuck. What would you suggest?
Kate Innis
@monica Just brainstorming some ideas, feel free to choose the ones you like. Nightlights help at night. A deadbolt for the doors, or other/multiple locks. A dog to keep watch from strangers. A body pillow to hug at night. Inviting a friend to stay over. Mindfulness meditation ( like the Medito app), this one helps with racing thoughts that keep ppl up.
@John, having a wife and kids and wanting to live alone is a tough one. I know many men that feel trapped by responsibilities. It’s hard to tell without a discussion. Talking with someone who went through something similar could bring some light on how you can get what you need at the same time feel they are taken care of.
On another note, I love the comment section of this article. It helped me to see the different views people have on living alone. I personally want love, and hope to find a man that is caring, one with a heart. I am currently living with my Dad and feel like he is erroding my mental health. He seems to think of me as an extension of himself. There are too many arguments and he blame me for a lot of things. Then tells me how much he does for me, and gow much I have here, that it will be expensive.
Paul
Thank you for your 10 solo living tips. They can be a lifeline for a person living in a harmful, stressful relationship or situation. But for someone who is forced to live in isolation, it can be unhealthy. Research tells us that at least 40% of solo dwellers experience depression. Unfortunately, after 12 years alone, I crashed. Each year I became more dysfunctional. IBS, panic attack, amnesia, headache, fatigue, pain. Thankfully, after intolerance to most antidepressants, I responded to fluvoxamine with a return to health. Hopefully now I can survive solo.