But in an ideal world or a less complicated one people with different interests, priorities or ideas about how to live could peacefully share the same space. However and unfortunately, in my view, there is no such world. Personalities, interests and feelings about all sorts of issues continuously clash in the midst of pressures of everyday life.
People will either compromise too much or argue all the time. In my opinion and I don’t expect you to agree, traditional families are in crisis amid the weight of competing everyday pressures. The concept becomes even more convoluted when both partners have to raise their own children. Bringing up two families together brings further complications emotionally and practically. With children being a lifetime commitment the best option for me is living apart together.
I want and need to take part in the adventure life brings and equally, have precious time to play other, profoundly rewarding roles in a meaningful way. I’ve chosen to live alone with my daughter and meet my partner two or three times a week at most, either at my house or his place.
I have grown to feel very strongly about living apart together. The arrangement allows me to generously give the best of me to the most important people in my life…
Frequently, we go out as a family when there is something to do together and without making a big deal of it. I have time to devote to my friends, my work as well as the ability to focus on interests that really matter to me. My life is whole and complete now without the added demands being part of a blended family living under one roof brings.
I have grown to feel very strongly about living apart together. The arrangement allows me to generously give the best of me to the most important people in my life – my daughter, my family, friends, my partner and his family. I never feel unhappy or lonely. My relationship with my partner is alive and strong because we are living apart together.
Sometimes we go on short romantic trips as a couple, sometimes we all go away together, or he will travel with his daughters as I do, with mine. We also try to schedule time for our one-to-one relationship and really look forward to time spent without the kids. Life for us is far richer, more vibrant and runs smoothly this way.
We have found our way to be with each other. Living together apart makes sense, and above all, it works. Rejecting conventional family life with my partner, I can finally say ‘our’ way is a relief for us and is a satisfying alternative from what life may otherwise have been.
Photos published with kind permission from Elena
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